Yesterday I was on the phone with my grandmama and she told me how my endeavors to improve my life were inspiring. My grandmama had a positive attitude as to her self-improvement goals, which I was glad to hear. She and I have always been co-conspirators in weight-loss and other life-improving things. Before I met hubby I would go stay with her for weeks at a time. I miss those days.
Lately, tho, I have been down on things. It’s been awhile since I worked on Japanese or typing. I made three pans of brownies last week and am more than halfway thru eating the most recent one. I skipped church for the third week in a row. I stay up late and sleep to between 1:30 and 2:30 p.m. each day. I am addicted to a MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game). I have faced 2 different people asking me point blank why I don’t work. I always think defensively in my head, really ridiculous arguments too. I will find a part time job. I made a list of all our debts and monthly payments. Our monthly expenses lie between $1700 and $1800. Hubby made only $1300 a month last year with his good job, and I got a job b/c we needed it. I made up the difference. Anyway, I applied at Walmart and Food Lion, and have resolved to apply at 2 places per day this week. Tomorrow is Hobby Lobby and waiting list for Work-Study.
2 things I absolutely must do: pray and remember that God loves me, and think positive thoughts. If I neglect these and just beat myself up, I will only get worse. My thoughts have the power to change my life.
I really am happy with being me, and with this point in time. I am blessed with an incredible life and a long list of people who love me, expect good things from me, and never give up on me.
